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Soultastic Bloggers

  • Claire H.
    What can I say man, she cracks me up! I'll also add that it's awesome having her as a cousin (in-law). Indeed.
  • Anna L.
    Anna just rocques.
  • Erika
    Art + Mothering + Awesomeness=Erika
  • Katie CL
    Awesome cousin-in-law that we get to see way too little.
  • Suzanne
    The new Suzanne blog. Like the old one, just more Typepaddy.
  • FUNDamentals Ezine
    Quarterly ezine about the intersection of the spiritual and material. Also I get to work on it.
  • Kim
    If she's as awesome a boss as she is a mom, and you know she is, that kid's gonna be amazing.
  • Myk
    Talented? Aww yeah. Easy to scare? In surplus. Loving and compassionate? You betcha.
  • NathanB
    One smart fella, in the midst of daddyland.
  • Robbie F.
    Robbie is...well, Robbie is Robbie. Intensely.
  • Juliet M.
    We're learning a lot from this very cool mom and friend we've gotten to know recently.
  • Heather B
    Co-founder of a family, magazine, and parent-support network that I've had the privilege to get to know recently.
  • Heather L
    Completely dedicated to making others happy.
  • Katie B.
    Dear sister-in-law who's a new a mommy, which is totally awesome. She's gonna mom the heck out of that child.
  • Anya
    Dear sister-in-law - changing, transforming, learning, creating, erm...arting.
  • dooce
    Mothering and writing.
  • danio
    As much love and joy as 10 men. Semiotician, philosopher, writer, artist, actor, inventor of the word weblo.
  • Liza
    Dear sister-in-law helping the world communicate better, one child at a time.
  • Kari
    Filmmakers view of the world. Proud to call her my friend.
  • Jessica
    Having braved the reservations of South Dakota, she now braves Chicago, all with the voice of an angel.
  • Bahiyyih
    Awesome mother, awesome friend. (Inventor of the word webble)
  • Lacey
    A wonderful person; host to a family of blogs; the one who started it all for me.
  • Dad
    A great dad.

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Comments

Sholeh

I am not yet a mother, and probably won't be for a couple of years, at least. But I DO have two sisters (I am the eldest), and I must say that nothing in the WORLD replaces the feelings between siblings. I cannot describe to you how much love I have for them, even when I do not see them often. I have friends that are very close to being "siblings", but honestly, my sisters are a huge part of my life.

I don't know how my parents did it...my sister G and I are 13 months apart, and I think my parents must be saints, or have magic powers.

I also see how my parent's families interact (each has more than 3 siblings), and it is really cool when everyone gets together...I dunno. I come from large families, so the atmosphere appeals to me. :-D

Husayn

Thank you too for being so open! Your comment reminded me of what it felt like before Amia came. Suzanne and I were really ready for a child. We felt like it was the next step in our development as a couple and as individuals. We weren't exactly planning on Amia, she just kind of came, but she came at exactly the right time. I'm saying that to say I think it's true, we'll know when and if it's time to have another one.
This morning Suzanne and I were remembering several years ago when we were still investigating each other. We were talking about how many kids we wanted to have. Looking back it seems so irrelevant. We had no idea what was involved, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. It's funny to think about how far we've come.


Heather B

Wishing I lived closer to you two so I could take your baby for a spell while you get a much-deserved date.

About having multiple children, we knew in advance that we would want anywhere between 2 and 5 kids. We also wanted them relatively close together in age. It was tough adjusting to one kid but we also enjoyed it and felt ready to try again when the oldest was about 11 months. It took absolutely no time to conceive, both a blessing and a curse. So the first two are just 20 months apart.

That was kind of overwhelming, having them so close together, and I figured I was done, but then #3 came along unexpectedly. Sometimes that's how more kids come into a family. I was not ready for #3, or so I thought. Fortunately there is a gestational period that allows for psychological preparation and acceptance.

Owning my birth experiences was a key part of feeling like I could have more children. With bad birth experiences come feelings of greater fear and worry about what it would be like to have more kids. Since I had had a rough time with #2, I was fiercely protective of my birth with #3, and ended up birthing him alone in my bathroom at home, having refused prenatal or midwifery care for much of the pregnancy (all were born at home). I am only underlining how important it is for a mother to be able to feel like she's doing this herself if she's going to keep doing it. It's part of what connects to postpartum depression, imo.

Anyway the deal is, once you've got the kids, you've got the kids, whether it's hard or whatever. The sacrifices involved are worthwhile. I can think of no greater sacrifice than that of your time in the interest of raising new humans. You've got one. That's a big deal. It does take a lot of sacrifice. Healthy, wholesome sacrifice. It's not as though you're wasting your time.

Remember, too, that you've just moved to a new place, you have a new job, and the baby is still very new. You all have a lot of growing to do. Feelings of uncertainty about whether you want to have more children are totally reasonable... you may not be ready yet, if you even ever get to a place where you want to try. I think it helps if you can feel stable about how things are now, before launching a new venture like child #2. If and when you start to feel that way, you just will. You'll know it. But it is not some measure of whether or not a family is good or a father is good. If you feel like you miss your wife a lot and more children would add to that - detracting from your time together - it is something you can address now, and try to improve that situation. It is one of the hardest aspects of having a young family. Being married in the first place is very challenging.

I think it's great that you are so honest and open about how you feel on the subject - it's an essential ingredient to a happy home life.

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